Finally, The Rules

About a decade ago I started a webpage dedicated to publishing a series of rules that I had devised to settle some key issues in modern civilization. Initially it was posted via Prodigy (yes prodigy), then on GeoCities, and finally Angelfire. I completely lost interest in the project as I hit the prrime years of High School. I have decided to revisit the idea, and post some of these rules, newly revised, in a serial format her at "Tales of Box." Some rules are longer than others, and since I have already written quite a bit to introduce you to the idea, I will keep this installment brief.

RULE #1 If your girlfriend/wife becomes pregnant, you are obligated to abide her decision and do anything you can to help. Unless she chooses to have the child, in which case a swift kick in the cunt should take care of everything.

Another thing that I have to point out is that there is finally a ray of hope concerning the ill-fated Team Fortress 2. After about 5 years of waiting, and forgotton release dates, Valve has released a teaser trailer. See it below

Funnier?

So I'm at a bar in the next town over with my friend "John."
We are there for a few hours when a peculiar man entered the bar and sat alone at the far end of the bar. John notices that he is wearing a uniform of some sort, although the hat should have been a dead giveaway.
As we drink we can't help but stare at this guy and make jokes at his expense. Suddenly John's eyes grow wider and this stupid grin comes to his face.
I inquire...
He tells me to look a little bit closer at the guy's uniform.
I stare down the bar, and I see what John is talking about; the fucking bastard is dressed in full Nazi regalia. The swastica embossed arm-band, eagles on the lapels, even the high leather boots perfectly made for goose-stepping. In awe, I can't stop staring. I think he could feel our stares as he turned and looked directly at us.
His face was round, eyes round, hair short and black, and his moustache... holy fuck me, he's impersonating Hitler.
As drinks flow John starts blabbing about how he is going to go over there and punch the fucker in the face. I work to calm him down, at which time he dares me to go talk to "Hitler." Being one that seldom backs down from a dare I walk to the end of the bar. I lean on the bar, as if to order another beer, but I really just wanted to look him in the face.
I gather myself, look directly at him and state, "Hey man. You know I'm as fucked up as anyone, but dressing up as Hitler is way beyond fucked up."
He looks up at me and says, "I'm dressed up like Hitler. I am Hitler."
I let out a disbelieving chuckle, and tell him that Hitler is long dead.
"I have been dead," he says, "but the devil sent me back."
"Riiiiight," I reply.
"The devil has sent me back to do some more work."
"Such as," I inquire.
"I have to kill five million more Jews, and three clowns."
I stammer, "You have to be shitting me."
"I am not 'shitting' you."
"Ill go with you on this one. Given your past record with jewish people I can understand, but why three clowns?"
Without a moment's pause he snaps back, "Because, it seems, no one cares about the jews."

Don't hate me for this one. It's all Matt's fault.

I do have a much better joke:
"How do you get a homosexual to fuck a girl?"
"Shove shit into her cunt."

Care of Drew

Birthday

I would like to send out a heart felt HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mother. I doubt she would want me to state her age. This video should sum up our relationship. (God I love YouTube)

FUNNY