Funnier?
So I'm at a bar in the next town over with my friend "John."
We are there for a few hours when a peculiar man entered the bar and sat alone at the far end of the bar. John notices that he is wearing a uniform of some sort, although the hat should have been a dead giveaway.
As we drink we can't help but stare at this guy and make jokes at his expense. Suddenly John's eyes grow wider and this stupid grin comes to his face.
I inquire...
He tells me to look a little bit closer at the guy's uniform.
I stare down the bar, and I see what John is talking about; the fucking bastard is dressed in full Nazi regalia. The swastica embossed arm-band, eagles on the lapels, even the high leather boots perfectly made for goose-stepping. In awe, I can't stop staring. I think he could feel our stares as he turned and looked directly at us.
His face was round, eyes round, hair short and black, and his moustache... holy fuck me, he's impersonating Hitler.
As drinks flow John starts blabbing about how he is going to go over there and punch the fucker in the face. I work to calm him down, at which time he dares me to go talk to "Hitler." Being one that seldom backs down from a dare I walk to the end of the bar. I lean on the bar, as if to order another beer, but I really just wanted to look him in the face.
I gather myself, look directly at him and state, "Hey man. You know I'm as fucked up as anyone, but dressing up as Hitler is way beyond fucked up."
He looks up at me and says, "I'm dressed up like Hitler. I am Hitler."
I let out a disbelieving chuckle, and tell him that Hitler is long dead.
"I have been dead," he says, "but the devil sent me back."
"Riiiiight," I reply.
"The devil has sent me back to do some more work."
"Such as," I inquire.
"I have to kill five million more Jews, and three clowns."
I stammer, "You have to be shitting me."
"I am not 'shitting' you."
"Ill go with you on this one. Given your past record with jewish people I can understand, but why three clowns?"
Without a moment's pause he snaps back, "Because, it seems, no one cares about the jews."
Don't hate me for this one. It's all Matt's fault.
I do have a much better joke:
"How do you get a homosexual to fuck a girl?"
"Shove shit into her cunt."
Care of Drew
We are there for a few hours when a peculiar man entered the bar and sat alone at the far end of the bar. John notices that he is wearing a uniform of some sort, although the hat should have been a dead giveaway.
As we drink we can't help but stare at this guy and make jokes at his expense. Suddenly John's eyes grow wider and this stupid grin comes to his face.
I inquire...
He tells me to look a little bit closer at the guy's uniform.
I stare down the bar, and I see what John is talking about; the fucking bastard is dressed in full Nazi regalia. The swastica embossed arm-band, eagles on the lapels, even the high leather boots perfectly made for goose-stepping. In awe, I can't stop staring. I think he could feel our stares as he turned and looked directly at us.
His face was round, eyes round, hair short and black, and his moustache... holy fuck me, he's impersonating Hitler.
As drinks flow John starts blabbing about how he is going to go over there and punch the fucker in the face. I work to calm him down, at which time he dares me to go talk to "Hitler." Being one that seldom backs down from a dare I walk to the end of the bar. I lean on the bar, as if to order another beer, but I really just wanted to look him in the face.
I gather myself, look directly at him and state, "Hey man. You know I'm as fucked up as anyone, but dressing up as Hitler is way beyond fucked up."
He looks up at me and says, "I'm dressed up like Hitler. I am Hitler."
I let out a disbelieving chuckle, and tell him that Hitler is long dead.
"I have been dead," he says, "but the devil sent me back."
"Riiiiight," I reply.
"The devil has sent me back to do some more work."
"Such as," I inquire.
"I have to kill five million more Jews, and three clowns."
I stammer, "You have to be shitting me."
"I am not 'shitting' you."
"Ill go with you on this one. Given your past record with jewish people I can understand, but why three clowns?"
Without a moment's pause he snaps back, "Because, it seems, no one cares about the jews."
Don't hate me for this one. It's all Matt's fault.
I do have a much better joke:
"How do you get a homosexual to fuck a girl?"
"Shove shit into her cunt."
Care of Drew

0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home