Stone Ruination IPA

Another of Stone Brewers products. I found it at the store today, I believe its a seasonal or special edition type brew (I'm too fucking lazy to do some actual research). It ups the alcohol to 7.7% and jacks the hop flavor way the fuck up (It advertises on the bottle that it is 100+ IBUs. What's an IBU you ask? International Bitterness Units. For fucks sake). Ultimately not much to say, other than I probably wouldn't buy it again for 60% more dollars over their standard IPA. I would definately drink it again and again, but only if it was purchased by someone else. I wish I had another bottle of Mephistopheles, now that's some evil shit. But that's for another post.

www.stonebrew.com

Stone IPA

I have become a great lover of IPA's (Indian Pale Ales) since I have come to Colorado. It seems that IPA's and countless variations thereof are a very popular product for most micro-brewers, probably because of the very basic ingredients that brewing it requires. A particular favorite for standard consumption has been Stone's IPA. At 6.9% its actually average as far as alcohol content goes. It has a little more hop flavor than many others that I have tried, but not so much that it becomes overwhelming (see review of Hop Stoopid coming later). For those of you back on the East Coast that love Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, it's a great step up both in quality and flavor. It has very quickly become my beer of choice when nothing else grabs my attention at the store.

In case you're wondering, that beautiful gentleman next the to bottle is the Guatemalan Saint Simon. He is prayed to by smokers, drinkers, and prostitutes alike. Fitting, no?

www.stonebrew.com

Beer Watch

So I haven't been regularly updating this is quite a while, but I think I found a good ongoing bit. I recently moved to Denver, CO, and I have discovered two things about this city; weed is legal, and there are more micro-breweries in and around this state that in almost a year here I have barely scratched the surface on trying them all. The Great American Beerfest comes again this fall, and I while I'd like to wait to try the 2000+ beers they will have available there, I want to bang as many out beforehand as possible. That being said, I will post pictures, info and impressions with each beer I try over the next nine months.

Some of you may know the beers I am trying and some of you may disagree with my tastes. To this I respond, go fuck yourself. If you regularly consume beer with less than 4% alcohol, you are not allowed to read my reviews. I only set the bar at 4% because I recently tried a ginger beer from Left Hand brewery that was quite good. Anyway, enjoy.

New Project

I have set up a make-shift website to act as home for the Cum & Terry Show. You can find it over here.

Oops

Well, it's been almost a year since I last posted to this deal. There is no good reason, but I moved, had some computer problems and got another job; not a new job, a second one. Why, you ask, would I do something as stupid as work 7 days a week? Well, I am trying to transition into a new career path in broadcast radio. I currently work for Business Talk Radio Network, producing some live shows and board opping for some pre-taped ones. I am also working with the program director at a big fancy rock station to put together a demo tape that will put me on the public airwaves, it will be a beautiful trainwreck I promise. You might ask why I don't just put together a podcast like every other jack-ass with no foreign accent and a computer. Well, I feel it cheapens the medium. I might put together a weekly music show, but any idiot can record himself talking like the god of all things. Before I do any of that I need to write and produce a bunch of fake commercials and promos so that MY show will sound professional, I will not stand for any less. I will definately post any info about this to this page. If any of you have ideas for commercials, please send them my way at acir515@gmail.com. Hopefully I will be able to post some of the stuff I have already done tomorrow evening.

In the meantime, here are some videos to keep you entertained. The first one has about 4.5 million views so I am sure you have seen it. The second is just hilarious in an abuse of power kind of way.

[videos coming soon]

Michael J. Fox as Zorro....

Saw And Pined His Loss

Flash Games,
Games are good.

Its like playing Night of the Living Dead!
Its basically Chess; but with an addicting/aggravating twist.
Fun turned-based game, AI gets old though.

Yup...thats it.

Comedy

I went and saw the Opie and Anthony traveling virus tour this past weekend; fuck me I haven't laughed that hard since my prostate pushed it's way out of my sphincter. That's one show down for the summer, several to go. My mother offered to get me free tickets to a Doobie Brothers/Lenyrd Skynard show this coming weekend, but I don't smoke pot so it would be kind of a waste.

My girlfriend and I are in the process of finding a new apartment since our current one has grown too small, and the landlady is a petty piece of cunt runoff. We have all but put a lock on an apartment, so I may be moving in the near future. Which means longer delays between posts.

In other news; I finally got my hands on a Wii and it is fucking amazing; but you all know that already. My new boss still sucks. I still like porn. I am planning a trip to Austria. I need a bigger TV. I need cable. My feet hurt.

Breaking news; I hate Howard Stern, and dumb strippers.

More eventually, stay tuned.

"I sold out long before you'd ever even heard my name"

Pics

Tattoo

Ok, so I have finally manned-up and decided to get my tattoo. My appointment is for this afternoon, so I may be able to post pictures of my red and bloodied arm by tonight. (any one who comes here at all knows that the chances of me posting twice in one day are slim and none). It isn't anything too fantastic, just a band around my right forearm of a design of my own (again, those who know me should have a good idea of what that is, and no, it has noting to do with TOOL). Hopefully I wont tear up like a bitch while it's being done.

In other news:
My summer is looking quite fantastic. I have aquired tickets to the Opie & Anthony travelling virus show at Jones Beach. It will feature comedians such as; Jim Norton, Otto & George, Patrice O'Neill, Stephen Lynch, and many others. Next up is TOOL (of course) in July at PNC Bank Arts Center in Jersey. I am always psyched for those. This time DECA is going to join the motley crew, it will be his first TOOL show. Ten days later it is off to the sold out Rock the Bells show at Randall's Island featuring; Public Enemy, Wu Tang Clan, Mos Def, Pharaoh Monch, EPMD, Sage Francis, many other assorted hip hop acts, and most importantly Rage Against the Machine in one of their 4 reunion shows. Fuck me I'm excited about that one. Maybe another must see event will come along and I assure you I will be there.

Anyway, it's time for me to check out.

Staring down the hole again,
Hands are on my back again,
Survival is my only friend,
Terrified of what may come.

Diet

So I decided to go on this sadistic diet aiming to clean out my colon and do some general detoxification. The way the diet works is that you eat only fruit for 2 weeks, it gives your pancreas a rest from producing acids to break down food, and the acids from the fruit losen the garbage left behind by my beloved red meats and chicken skins.

I am currently on day five of this hell; it has gone something like this:

Monday:
I started off the day with a delicious apple. It did nothing. I was craving pizza by the second hour of consciousness. When I decided that I absolutely had to do something to fill me up I went to the market next door and indulged in a large bowl of pineapple. It was devine, I do enjoy a good dose of pineapple. As the day went on I needed some more sustinance so I peeled and ate an orange. Once returning home for the day I had several glasses of milk.
Then it happened; my first visit to the restroom. The initial wave came pouring out of me, but I continued to sit there and see if I couldn't coax any more to come out. As I flipped through the pages of the latest National Geographic my lower abdomen started to hurt, a lot. I persisted and let what seemed like a giant air bubble work its way down. Another log started to come through that felt like hard .50 calber round passing through the barrel of the .30 caliber rifle. Without any rest a whole shit load (no pun intended) of loose feces came flooding though. I determined that it was time to take a break and wiped my exhausted leather cheerio and stood up. I peered back in to the toilet to see what manner of hell I had managed to push out. The hard peice that came out looked like it had been contoured by my intestines, a good sign that something had broken off. What struck me, however, was the large mass of pineapple remains that had streamed through at the end. It had taken less than 5 hours for it to make its journey. Jesus.

Tuesday:
After two glasses of orange juice before heading off to work, I grabbed two apples and went on my merry way. These two apples would be all I would eat all day. What I did do was drink several glasses of milk, sadly it did a good job of filling me up. I could tell by this point that these two weeks would be a real struggle. I found myself staring off into space imagining pizza, roast beef sanwiches, general tso's chicken, or McDonald's flowing down my gullet into my waiting, aching, stomach. It didn't help that one of the people that works just down from me took it upon himself to come enjoy his lunch right next to me; dick head.
I got home, no dumps, no nothing, just a fresh fruit smoothie.

Wednesday:
I started the much like tuesday, orange juice and an apple. At work I tried to make it through most of the day without eating so I could enjoy an orange. About 4 hours into work I felt weak and decided it was time to have a fruit salad. It included melon, honey dew, blue berries, strawberries, and my beloved pineapples. I took a bite of the pineapple and nearly gagged. Apparently seeing it post ass-hole changed my feelings towards it.
Once home I had a very unimpressive visit to the shitter. Damn.

Thursday:
I had orange juice, and ate nothing for the rest of the day. It may have been because I was so busy all day, or that I would rather imagine eating a pound of bacon than having one more awful bite of fruit. Several glasses of milk are all that went into me. I needed to get pooping and maybe letting what was already there sit and fester might coerce it out of me. No dice, no dumps, no nothing. This is starting to really suck.

Today (Friday):
Given that my girlfriend, my partner in this little endeavor, doesn't eat bananas I decided that I would grab two before heading off to work. I was so hungry from not eating the day before that I peeled and bit into it 2 minutes after gettting into my car. Holy mother of all that is unholy it was awful. It seems that not eating these godforsaken things for years was a wide decision. The taste was off putting, but the texture was enough to make my wretch; it felt like monday's dump swishing around my mouth. I managed to force it down nonetheless.
Since I had not had a satifying visit to das dumper in a few days I elected to revisit the pineapples, which seemed to do a good job of getting through me and bringing stuff with it. I managed to eat about three quarters of the portion I had purchased. We will see how that goes. I'll try to give an update before I hit bed if I'm not confined to the porcelain chair for hours on end. Don't cross your fingers.


Also, sorry for the long absence. I'll try to do better.